Avoidance, Part 2

Featured by dhnevins.com
by D.H. Nevins

Yes... a vacation was exactly what I needed.  There were no unruly elemental visitors (Hurricanes Danielle and Earl both kept their distance) and I had ample leisure time in a quiet, pristine setting to sufficiently relax and unwind.

I put some finishing touches on a new short story of mine (which I've titled The Inhibitor), went kayaking, scuba diving, and even managed to memorize a good chunk of lines for a play I'll be in this fall.  It was great!

So that also means that I no longer have any excuses for putting off the dreaded query letters. It's well past time that I sat down and composed a number of these things for both editors and agents.  But this is exactly where I drag my feet and suddenly find a million other things that urgently need to be done instead.  Has anyone else had this problem?  How did you overcome it?

I wonder, sometimes, why this is (and I ponder this instead of spending my precious time on composing the queries in question, of course).  There's something potentially and nerve-wrackingly final about a query, though, isn't there?  Editor Jones says 'No,' and then, suddenly, that's it for Editor Jones.  That avenue is suddenly closed.  And though I know that there are many, many avenues out there, I have a definite aversion to closing any of them.

However, I have decided that I WILL write at least three query letters this very weekend, and I am putting that down here to ensure that I follow through.  I'm hoping that by setting this goal (and putting it into writing for all to see), I'll be sufficiently motivated to follow through.  Hey, whatever works, right?  It's time to face those fears.

I'll post again when it's done, just to keep myself accountable (hey - I need it!)  I can do this!

IS THERE ANYTHING REAL ABOUT MTV'S THE REAL WORLD?

Order of The Fez

http://orderofthefez.blog.com

I was shaving my pubes this morning, and it got me thinking. Why does MTV’s The Real World piss me off so much, and exactly what parts of their lives are “real”? I thought long and hard about it, and this caused temporary paralysis on the left side of my body. However, I was able to put my finger on a few of the issues I have with the show, as well as some solutions to make it better. 

Why The Real World isn’t “real”

The only time 8 people live together in a house is if they are part of a Mexican family. Since we all know Mexicans do not count as real people, you can understand why I disagree with 8 people living together. It is immoral and will lead to sexual activity with someone of the opposite race, or worse, a cutter. 

Not everyone lives in large suburban areas like San Francisco, New York, London, etc. The worst location they chose was Cancun. Are you fucking kidding me? Cancun is your idea of the real world, MTV? Put these people in Montgomery, Alabama, and then we’ll see how real it gets.

The people that room together at the house have nothing in common. You would not catch me dead in a house with a homosexual, a tranny, a pussy, or a cutter. I have enough drama in my life. I don’t need someone bleeding on me for attention. 

Their jobs are bullshit. One season, the roommates’ job was to go to an improve theatre and learn how to be funny. In Cancun, their job was to be tour guides for spring breakers. On the current season, they are all doing volunteer work. With these fantasy jobs, there’s no way they could actually afford the utilities for the hedonistic lair they live in. 

Everybody that lives in the house is beautiful. When the 
guys take off their shirts, it’s like being at a male strip club. It’s very hard to hide my erection. I cannot remember a fat person ever being cast on the show. I'm not complaining, though, because fat people should be shot. Just kidding. They are disgusting, though.

After the show, they don’t go back to their normal lives and contemplate suicide like everyone else. They get to go on challenges and compete for hundreds of thousands of dollars. The only way this will happen to me is if those assholes at Wheel of Fortune ever return my calls.

Basically, the cast of The Real World is something you would find at a halfway house in north Hollywood. In order for it to be “real”, some changes must be made. These are some solutions that I have come up with.

Making The Real World a Little More Accurate

Have everyone in the house be of the same race. I don’t care if it’s all Asian, Hispanic, white, whatever. In the real world, races try not to intermingle very often, unless it’s at a high school social or an  S&M party.

Give them real world jobs. Some examples would be: janitor, circus clown, or my personal favorite, laundromat attendant. Give them real world wages and make them pay for all of their sinful activities at night. Let’s see how long they’re laughing when Uncle Sam says “Fuck you”.

These people don’t need an incredibly tricked out house. Give them a 3-bedroom apartment and let them fight it out for rooms and personal space. If they want to act like they’re still in college, let them live like they’re still in college. Good luck having pre-marital sex now.

Speaking of college, why is there an  age limit on the show? If you want the real world, let the creepy 65-year-old man hooked on Cialis bunk with them for a few months. Allow the 45-year-old cougar to come in and teach the young men a thing or two about rim jobs. There is too much segregation right now. Let’s bring everyone together, like the war in Iraq.

Last but not least, introduce the roommates to our current economy by randomly firing a few of them. Let’s see if we can support our “family” of 8 with WIC.

I would watch this latest version, and if MTV reads this, I think it will happen. Until then, The Real World will still be a vice of mine that will haunt my dreams forever.

With Love,

Dr. Brandon

Tongue-Tied

Aspiring Minds

I STARTED MY BLOG JUST TO SHARE MY VIEWS ON CERTAIN TOPICS WHICH I REALLY LIKE.I WILL SOON POST NEW INTERESTING TOPICS SO STAY TUNED!!!

Written by Ravali
Featured On: http://ravali-aspiringminds.blogspot.com

The scenic,sun-kissed shores of Andaman and Nicobar islands recently let out a collective sigh of grief and mainland was shrouded in a veil of eerie silence.The only surviving speakers(Boro and Boa)of two great Andamanese languages(Khoro and Bo)had breathed their last.Their passing admist the sound of the lapping waves,also echoed a death knell -not just for two native tongues,but also for the historical,cultural and ecological wisdom accumulated over thousands of years by their ancestors who spoke that language.It might not be too long before witness a similar tragedy again.

Experts says that as many as 196 languages in India are on the brink of extinction today.According to a study by UNESCO,the world loses one language every 14 days.Which means,in less than 100 years,the human civilisation will be bereft of more than half of its 7000 languages.

A countdown to extinction seems inevitable for several languages in India.While developing over the extinction of languages,one of the fundamental questions we face is why and how does a mother tongue die?
Professor Anvita Abbi,from the Centre for Linguistics,School of Language,Literature and Cultural Studies at the Jawaharlal Nehru University who has undertaken a project called "Vanishing Voices of the Andamanese"
to document the languages spoken by the tribes in these islands,believes that time is running out for many languages in the Indian subcontinent.

She reveals,"There are just about 50 people remaining who speak the Great Andamanese languages like Sare and Jeru.The other two languages in this category,Khoro and Bo,were lost following the death of the last speakers.About 150 years ago,the religion could boast of 10 languages under the Greater Andamanese."

So,we have to do something for the vanishing languages of our own civilisation and religion we should at least put this topic to the government concern so that these things may not happen.

Written by Ravali
Featured On: http://ravali-aspiringminds.blogspot.com

Love Songs That We Hear and Sing

Music, Life, and Society

Written by Karl Lopez

Featured On: http://www.musicandsocietylinkage.blogspot.com

There are many songs that make us react when we hear just its melodies. The most captivating lyrics come from love songs that are performed by famous singers like Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, and Whitney Houston. These singers were proven to melt one’s heart by just starting to sing a love song.

But the most common reaction in hearing love songs is feeling sad with mixed feelings thereafter. I am not saying that this happens all the time. What I am trying to convey is the idea that if we listen to music particularly love songs, there are past events that makes us happy and sad that we automatically remember. I am referring to bittersweet memories that are kept sacred by time.

Some famous love songs that make us remember bittersweet memories include Through the Rain, It’s All Coming Back To Me Now, Loving Arms, Almost Over You, and even I Can’t Cry Hard Enough. These love songs are played in the radio always while music videos are visible in the entertainment channels too.

There are three things that I can say on this topic. First, love songs are the music of the heart when love is absent. Love can be absent because it is beyond our control. For instance, we have past relationships that we consider important in our lives but we cannot keep forever since it does not work. All we can do is to keep it within and when we hear any love song that fits our stories, our hearts listen to it. Second, music heals all wounds. Love songs are very powerful in changing one’s mood. We may forget the pain that we encountered in the past if we listen to love songs especially if we already moved on. And third, music is life. Music is part and parcel of life because it makes us complete. Without music, the cultivation of other artistic talents is rendered futile. Hence, music specifically love songs, are important in this life.

iPledge an Allegiance to the Mac

Written by Tim Edwards
Featured on  What's Worse Than Being a Blogger?

iPods, iPhones and iMacs are only a few of the products that are made by Apple. If you haven't heard yet, they are all brilliant and nothing can or could possibly compete on their level. What's that you say? You've never used one? Well try one. Go out and buy one this very moment. You will love it. Everyone loves them. It's a fact!

It is now statistically proven that anyone who has bought a Mac, has always fallen in love with it. People love them so much Apple had to paint them white to hide all the slimy admiration all over each and every one. iMacs tend to work quite well. Some people prefer the operating system to Windows and some particular pieces of software work well on Mac computers. However as nice as Macs may be, a percentage of its fan base are turning fundamental and will protect their precious, expensive hardware against anything anyone in the universe has to say.

The worst thing about Apple products, and the reason stopping me from buying some, would be the ability for each of them to turn you into an iPrick. iPricks usually tend to hang around coffee shops with their nice shiny computers on display. These are the rules on what to do around an iPrick:

1. Don't question the Apple Product or suggest anything else is superior.
2.  If you break the first rule (I know it's hard) don't use the argument that you prefer Windows because they will just tell you to buy a Mac and put Windows on it or say it's so much easier to use.
3. Don't tell them that Macs don't get as many viruses (they do get viruses) because they are such a small percentage of the market share because Macs only work with Apple's hardware.
4. Watch Out, they bite.

A recent study has actually shown that 85% or Mac owners also own a PC or as some Mac supporters like to put it 15% of people who PCs also own a Mac, so these people may be secret Windows users at home in their deep dark dens.

Some Apple products do tend to be quite good however they are not all great. The future of tablet computing isn't going to be a device that can only run one application at a time, so the fact that the iPad is exactly this means that it won't be hard for other companies to compete with a better model. It is a bit depressing how Apple have set the standard bar so low at the beginning of this new age.

The reason for me writing this article is because of a situation I found myself in a few days ago. I was innocently sitting at my desk, at work, where I may have mentioned to the person next to me that I was thinking about buying a Kindle, to which he responded I should buy an iPad. At first this seemed like an innocent and logical suggestion, so I simply said to him I am waiting to buy a tablet PC until they get better because the iPad isn't that good. The man then attacked me. I could see the Apple logo glistening in his eyes. He said the iPad was going to be the next big thing and that we should all buy one. I said it probably won't be and was thrown with the fact how could I possibly know when it hasn't come out yet. It then appeared to me that this man was an idiot. He then persisted to say that I was scared of Apple because their computers are becoming so easy to use that I won't be able to get a job being a software engineer. I assured the man that this wasn't the reason since all computers need software no matter who they are made by, to which he patted me on the back patronisingly and left.

I have used OSX before and I can understand why some people may find it easier to use but is that that illogical that I might prefer Windows? To some Mac users this may be the case.

There is a nice old saying that Apple users swear by their devices and Microsoft swear at theirs. Both systems are good but there really isn't any huge advantage one has over the other. Just because something costs a lot more or looks cooler doesn't make it better. I have an iPhone, which I like, but Apple are at the end of the day another company trying to get every penny they can out of me. Apple are not to blame but people. Unfortunately I am one of those people who will always choose practicality over image, no matter if it's white and shiny. Macs may be practical for some people but not for me.

Written by Tim Edwards

Featured on  What's Worse Than Being a Blogger?

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